What have they got that I ain't got?

Cowardly Lion: Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot? What have they got that I ain't got?

Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Woodsman: Courage!

Cowardly Lion: You can say that again! Huh?

Oh back from Oro Medonte, a week long vacation with the boys, booze and summer Sun! It was somewhat of a nerve racking trip, this is the first time that I have ever gone on an extended vacation with friends. I've done overnight and weekend long trips but this, this was a whole week with people that I only see rarely, a couple of times a month but they are the best bunch of friends that I have.

One friend in particular is always urging me to break out of my shell and I finally shared that I did live out of my shell, maybe too much and now I've swung back. Writing this may, well I have swung back too far, I've gone from one extreme to the next and then back to the other. I need to find my happy medium and hopefully soon I will.

So it hit me while walking around Toronto with the bitches, our heels were clicking like it was fashion week all over the Eaton Center, and Church resting for a few beers then working it back. But while in this little city I realized in a bit of my anxiety, especially after saying that I don't know if I could live in a big city any more, it hit me. I've lost my City Confidence. I am no longer confident to strut my ass around the city and then I realized that I've lost all my confidence. DAMN!

I felt better after hiking around the city, swimming in the Georgian Bay and hauling ass around Oro Medonte. I'm a big girl but I can move around with the best of them and can only get better. I can build my confidence back, now if only I start on it.