A New Year

So a New Year is here, Happy 2010!!!! A decade has passed since I walked through the doors of my high school for the last time. (When I went to request transcripts does not count)My current manager did set me straight I bit too, I should not look at what I have not done, but look at what I have and of course try to be better and try for more.
Recently I have been in that New Year Optimism that plagues all, to lose weight, more fortune, more luck, more sex in the new year. What is in store for the Sush in 2010? More fun with my friends? Less fiscal troubles? Weight loss? It will hold whatever I make it hold for me won't it now. A test has already occurred this morning. Was I actually going to head off to the gym this morning at 830am like I use to and wanted to. NO of course not, I had no motivation and it doesn't help that it's an Arctic chill to get me through the door. So here I am, eating a late breakfast of 2 grilled cheese sandwiches and a a bloody mary.
My drinking has been bothering me, I've been doing it more and more when I'm home alone. I've always thought as long as you were drinking wine it was ok but the hard liquor was for party and friends and here I am, drinking a cocktail. Spiking the coffee, etc.
What does one do with themselves? How was does one get the motivation to do things, to make changes when all they feel is despair. Not feel despair would be one thing and a balancing of life is the other.
I spend my NYE with good friends, in an apartment and not being drunken and crazed and since it is said how you spend your NYE is how you spend the year I am glad I did. So this year will (hopefully) not be crazy, filled with good friends.