Where Oh Where has my Little Sush Gone...

Oh where oh where can she be??? Here I am. Long gone and long lost like many a sailor on the open sea.
I was going to say I haven't been blogging much, but in truth I haven't been blogging at all. I think it is b/c of the place that I am at. I am not overly happy or excited and I am not depressed I am just here. I recently has a session with my spiritual counselor GL from the PeaceWeavers. I am just here. GL also said he felt that I am not depressed I am just, well existing.
It was interesting b/c I had also recevied an email from Paula, whom is the Outreach Director for the PeaceWeavers and she had made mention to "if I was coming abound with the spring season" or something to affect and I didn't answer her right away. It hit me late afternoon yesterday that I would like this year to be spring, a new spring (a New Dawn as I have previsouly searched for). One of my majior goals is to get my icommerce businss up and running off the ground where it lyes about now like a lazy little dog to something that is skipping I should say, gets some height. Really I would like it to get soaring but to be realistic when your only building it now you have to be real. But yes Paula, I would like this to be my spring.
I almost want to say one, but my major goal of this year is to lose weight. I have been slowing creeping up the scale to where I am today and feel that I am a digsuting blobular mass and come this next paycheck I will join a gym, since I have a new schedule I will workout every afternoon. I would love to be able to run in a marathon. Now I'm not asking to win it but to be able to particpate from start to finish would be amazing, the thrill, blood and adrenaline rush would be great! I can do this, I will do this, now do this!
So I guess that's it, I swing here on the pendlum of existance, not here nor there.