Hotel BUFFALO

On a dark upstate highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of Labatts, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Hotel Buffalo
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel Buffalo
Any time of year, you can find it here......

Oh my life in Buffalo, it's has been since 2003 that I've been back in Buffalo, spending a few years out of state in Providence, RI. Growing, developing, trying to forget and covering up my past to become someone new, something different to come back to BLO a new person and every time the homeland bitch slaps you in the face. Any time of year you can find it hear BFLO. The past likes to come back and haunt you from time to time and I, not being any wiser then I once was but with much more wisdom then I once had in all fun volunteered at the Taste of Buffalo only to find people that I went to HS with. Of course, why not this is only the nations 2nd largest Taste and a not to miss event in Buffalo. So I get to come face to face without words a part of my past that I look to escape. Then comes to mind how I hate certain aspects of myself, the things I want to change and how I MUST look better then everyone else when my 10 year reunion comes to swing and how I need to accomplish something by then so I'm not the same of thing I was back then and of course this folds into the drama and hazards of my life since graduation, the mistakes I've made, the faults that have occured and how I am so much more and so still the same. I keep making the same mistakes and yet I find new ones to make but ultimatly I keep judging myself the hardest AND not forgiving myself for the actions.
I want to much and yet I can't get the drive to do it. I have my own online business, I do nothing with it. I have potential to move up and go anywhere with my company, I dont feel like it. The only thing I seem to be good as it doing nothing, creating nothing and go no where and why b/c I don't respect or love myself enough to achieve anything that I want or deserve. I know and have discussed that this is something I grew up learning and yet I don't move forward with it. I distract myself from my goal to allow myself to be destroyed even further. This has to stop, I need an action plan, a game plan. I had one when I worked at Nordstrom and I'm not holding myself to any plan b/c I havent created one.
SO that is what I must do, create an action plan, let go of the past and move forward, move on with the life that I want to live and I'm going to keep myself to it.
So long Hotel BUFFALO and hello open road of life, love and happiness!