Follow the Yellow Brick Road.....

"There is a secret in life, better then any fortune teller can reveal. We all have a great hand in the forming of our destiny." ~ Dolley Madison

You would think this blog would start out with a picture of ruby slippers and the famous pathway hour life is not that easy. Three clicks of your heels and you are not home.

I am recently off of a trip from Tampa, FL. It's been maybe a month or more since I've been on a business trip and I am exhausted. Aside from sleeping last night and an hour nap today I am still exhausted.

The arean of my life has turned into the Coliseum. Full of battles, spectales and more.



Most of the battles are with myself. I am at an unfixed point, unsettled, unstable. I am two months and 21 days until I become thirty. I work in a career field I hate, I'm am not who I feel I am, alone and unloved and in a point of desperation I reach out to whatever is near to steady myself.

Like a star collapsing into itself....I create havok around me.



Now I'm not being a destructive force, or at least I don't think to others but as any rogue I'm not in control.

I think this is evident by my out of control motions of looking for new employment. I know I'm not happy what I'm doing and I "know" what I want to do but I am not sure how to there or if I am really doing the right thing. Am I taking a leap first without looking where I step?

I've done this before, the first time I've lasted a year, the second time I lasted six months. Am I letting my feelings of lost with myself interfer with a career? I capable of doing any job that I am in and I am capable of exceling at it however there always comes a time when I become uninterested in what I'm doing and seek something new. Is this because I've finally adapted to what I'm doing and fall into the reality of my own existence again?

I remain unfocused on my future career (aside from being a domestic goddess to the love of my life) and in writing this portion of the blog the next day I realized that's ok. We don't all go through life "5 steps ahead" and I've seen people who are always looking ahead and they miss the present, the miss the facts and data and come into things that could easily be avoided.

I'm sharp, I'm smart (pretty) so I know what to do and what's coming at me. I just need to face a few things now that I am not.