Homtel Life

(this blog has been written in parts over the series of a month and half)

So I have spent every week since July fourth in a different hotel in a differnt state, in a different part of the country.
I'm currently in Orlando, FL staying at the luxurious Peabody Hotel, a hotel that defines luxery and relaxation. If staying in Orlando ever again, I will be staying here.

If you follow/friend me on Foursquare you will see all my travel, all the airports, the hotels, the coffee shops, etc that I visit.

For all the glorious traveling that I do, or as it appears people don't think about having to get up 3-4 hours prior to the flight to ensure proper arrival time at the airport. People don't think about the airport food, which isn't always good or healthy. People don't think about the running from one gate to the next, carrying a laptop top, other items trying to make your next flight. Nobody thinks of just the travel hassel they encounter on their casual trips, nobody thinks I encounter that every week, twice a week.

You also become very disconnected. You don't see family and friends, you miss weddings and graduations. You miss being around or hanging with friends and in some instances find it hard to reconnect with some and find it easier to connect with others. When sitting in a distant city I don't get phone calls from my friends or family to see how I am, what I've done and any other small conversation that could be had.

To recap the month of July, I started the month in Providence, RI then after a two days in Buffalo I moved onto Stamford, CT after Stamford I returned to Buffalo for two and moved onto Orlando, FL where I returned to Buffalo for less then twenty four hours to turn over and move onto Woodbridge, VA.

Since returning to Buffalo I am "grounded" for two weeks and am able to see my friends, attend whatever events ahve come up and was even able to get out to Thunder Moutain for a little grounding and an adjustment.

All of this traveling is not only tiring, psychologically and physically draining it has taken me off course further then I expected. My physical well being has been interupted by being unable to work with my personal trainer on a regular basis, my diet has been blown apart by eating out, getting foods to go and rich catering and my mind has now become a jumble of thoughts. My dreams obsess about work, flying, zombies and random counters with a crush.

By the end of each trip I want to go home but I want to leave almost as quickly. If that is the case then what is home? If home is "where the heart is" and I don't hold my heart to home city or my apartment where am I to go and do I have to go there alone?

Some of the self work experianced yesterday just on the drive to the Summer Gathering is that I need to work on self love and understanding. I need to allow myself to experiance love from myself and others to have a fulfilled life. As RuPaul says "If you can't love yourself how the HELL you gonna love somebody else?".

I should attempt to find home in myself before looking for it in other places or people.