Mirror, Mirror.......

"Mirror, Mirror on the wall who's the fairest of the all? "

"O Lady Queen, though fair ye be, [insert name] is fairer far to see"

So let's get into a the psychology of self. HHMMM. Let's see. It's been one week since I don't have Chris, my personal trainer and it sucks. I have no inspiration to do it on my own. The resistance training that is, I can hit the gym for cardio that is no problem. But I have no drive to push myself like he did and I miss the guy time. For the first time I could chill with a guy and not have him bothered by my sexuality to a degree, now I'm not sure if he's figured it or if he has since becoming my FB friend. But I know that I miss that time where I could be somewhat of a man without hassle, try the guy talk and stuff and here I sit now longing more then ever to have those "manning up" sessions.

So what am I to do? (by the way, I apologize for the italics then non but this does not want to cooperate) What am I to do with my time, I don't have the motivation to do resistance training on my own but I want to run in the Turkey Trot 2010, a big local Thanksgiving Race and I want to be hott like Taylor Lautner. I want to the fairest of the all. One part of this is self psychological quest for attractiveness and the other is health, I need to lose weight and be healthy and happy and I'm not doing a good job of it now. I need to stop, and do it.
I had a really good meditation session with GL and it helped get somethings off my chest but now I need the physical. I'm always working on the mind and spirit but never the body. Once the body is in order all things will come in play but how to get the drive to do so?