Postcards on the Wall

So I'm sitting on the couch, looking over my left shoulder, sort of hanging over the arm of the couch, my mind is spinning over a game on myspace (how lame), watching Brothers and Sisters, thinking about ordering season one and two, thinking about blogging and wondering, when did it start? I guess I should take a moment to say that the main wall of dining room has postcards placed about it. These postcards cover the last 7 years of my life, moments of time, captures of me. Some were free, some were bought but something drew me to each and everyone, moving from dorm room to apartments to my parents house and then back into my own apartments.
I've always described these postcards as a description of my mind, the different ways my thoughts go, some glamourus, some fake, some dull, others witty and smart and they never seem to really regroup in the same way, one because they are always growing and two because like my mind, it's always spinning. So with this myspace game flowing through my mind, the loves and lives of Brothers and Sisters, in my mind the post cards are now longer on the wall but coming of and swirling in around the room, like my thoughts.
I keep looking at that wall, from the spot where my couch is positioned currently it's easy to see the wall and I keep getting this urge from time to time to flee. I've had it once hit me, in my old apartment on St Louis Place one day, when the wind came through (please note that no doors or windows were open) but this wind said to me....it's time to go..... and I knew right then and there, I was never really happy in that apartment after the first few months and I knew, that after the year contract was up, I was on an ruled month to month that it was time to leave and an opportuntiy came and I did, I left.
So what is this new mindset? what is drawing me to look over this wall again and again, today I had the urge to take down all my cards but then I stopped in that thought and said that is because I don't want to admit that it is because I am frustrated with where I am.
So where am I, I'm entering my late twenties, I'm overweight, unloved by myself, friendships are changing and growing distant and I keep wondering, is it me? Is it my fault that my friendships are changing? In one part I think it's because I wanted to make my own way, stop being hte guy who followed behind (as I use to as a child and somewhere reverted back to) and start doing my own things, at my own pace and in my own time. So with that, with taking back some control I drifted out and away and those people move on slightly but not completely away. In another way I think it's that my other friends are getting older, mature, their own personal relationships are growing and deepening and yet I don't have any other relationships aside from my family and friends (and yet do I really long for one)
I feel alone and abandonded, washed aside by some of my family, some of my friends and by myself. What I am suppose to do? I always seem to take a step back to take a leap forward, which I have done, I am finally a supervior/team lead, it may not be in a career that I truly want and I'm making better money but not what I want to make, I haven't straightened out my diet yet, I'm working on the no red meat/pork again. Spinning, spinning that is all that my mind can do.