WOP: Blair Waldorf

" you know you love me, XO XO Gossip Girl"

Within the last two years I've become addicted to the show Gossip Girl and one of it's main characters is Blair Waldorf played by Leighton Meester,.

Wikipedi describes Blair as follows : A privileged young woman born to high society, Blair is presented as the beautiful queen bee of Manhattan's social scene. Due to her status on the Upper East Side, Blair's actions and relations are under constant scrutiny from the mysterious Gossip Girl, a popular anonymous blogger.

Blair is the Queen Bee of the Upper East Side, beautiful, charming, cunning and deadly. In a societal sense she's deadly that is, she destroy hearts and reputations with the click of the keys on her phone as she sends the latest news to Gossip Girl.

Blair like all the Queens that I love hides her whit and intelligence behind her beauty, sometimes she is not the known source of the mischief and sometimes she is.

I feel connected to Blair because at one point in time I was that Queen Bee, the newest and freshest face on the draq scene in Providence, RI. However with that new found beauty and power came a price, a piece of my soul. I came into the draq scene and grew and developed myself a person. As my popularity rose and connections made as I rose to become a star I also found the darkness that lives amongst the stars.

It starts simply enough, the girls come to embrace you and then little by little with your sisterhood new things happen. For me, the new things were excessive drinking, drugs such as pot and cocaine and sex. Sex, drugs and rock n roll..what a life!

Typing it out, is actually harder then I thought. To type out the fact that at one point in time I had a problem with cocaine is harder then I thought. I guess that is because by writing it out I am solidifying it, putting it out there for the world to read but by doing so I can also admit that I am no longer involved in it.

Now Blair has not had a drug problem on this show, references to an eating disorder yes but she is a royal bitch and during this phase in my life so was I. In my own misery that took me into that dark place also allowed me to vent this darkness and let it rip into others.
I have begged for forgiveness to one of the person's several times and have received that forgiveness which apparently was never needed to be asked for.

So the complexities of Blair is what I identify with. From her warrior spirit to side that she often hides as she knows what she has done is wrong.

You know you love me, XO XO Sushia.