I am the Master, you are the Slave?

"My secret is inside my closet, do you wanna see?, do you wanna play?, let me explain my game to you,, I will be the master, you will be the slave! "

Can someone want to be dominant and subservient at the same time? That was a question I found myself recently.



As in an earlier post I’ve discovered I want to be domesticated and with domestication comes subservience. Let’s look at the definition of domestic from dictionary.com.

do·mes·tic
   /dəˈmɛstɪk/ Show Spelled[duh-mes-tik] Show IPA
–adjective
1.
of or pertaining to the home, the household, household affairs, or the family: domestic pleasures.
2.
devoted to home life or household affairs.
3.
tame; domesticated.
4.
of or pertaining to one's own or a particular country as apart from other countries: domestic trade.
5.
indigenous to or produced or made within one's own country; not foreign; native: domestic goods.
–noun
6.
a hired household servant.
7.
something produced or manufactured in one's own country.
8.
domestics, household items made of cloth, as sheets, towels, and tablecloths.


So what does this mean for me? When did I, a stage diva, socialite, glamazon want to become "devoted to home life or household affairs" When did I, someone who idolizes strong woman and warrior queens want the roles to be reversed and become the less dominant one.

Have I become so broken or am I experiencing something that I've wanted all along? Have I been hiding a natural drive to be domesticated? Have I just given up, given into the man to be put back into the kitchen?

I have said that this move has shifted me, moved me in a new direction that I was not on before. While on a hiatus at work today I started looking at items from Coach and Louis Vuttion and it brought me back to a former life, a former time when I was young, beautiful, full and vibrant. I miss my old self and I want it back.

Am I thinking this over WAY TOO MUCH!?!?!?!? Probably. But this is how I am, living in my head. Running over and over things again and again.