Sush Boleyn

Today is the anniversary of the death of Queen Anne Boleyn, second wife of Henry VIII King of England. I wore black today in memory of Anne's passing, I did not however wear my replica necklace. I do not think as much as I mix my fashion and style, a man wearing a pearl necklace to work would be accepted.
I've always admired strong women, Anne being the newest edition to that cast. Strong and damaged would I should say. At times I fear that I love these women so much because they mirror things in myself so much. The passion, the angry, the hurt, pain, the power. I've stopped and looked at Anne several times leading up to today/
I've always thought she fell to man, a woman knowing what she wanted, speaking her mind, intelligent, learned for her time was dangerous and she used her keen mind to advance her self to the point she wanted to be. Yes was she thrown upon the king by her greedy family but I think at one point passed the point of no return, blinded by love, not only the love of a man but the love of the kingdom she reined and power she held. "Absolute power corrupts absolutely." ~Lord John Emerich Edward Dalberg-Acton. She had become corrupted by her power and I stop to think many a times so had I.

So here I am, waiting for a show to start, in my living room are boxes filled with my life.....I am moving. I've been in the Linden House for the last 3 years of my life. The longest time I've held a residence since living in my parents house and I'm sad. Over that time span I've made this place my home but can no longer maintain it. Ironic, daily I sit on the phone talking to people in this very position and counsel/advise them that maybe they should take their loses and start over again and here I am counseling myself the same and damn does it hurt.

Would I, given the chance sacrifice myself for king and kingdom, do I in a zealous state of affairs take myself to the chopping block? I've also submitted a debt counseling request, a matter that I've longed ignored. Hoping like other people I know that it just goes away however for me that does not seem to be the case. Always the high road.

Am I, Anne standing at the chopping block waiting my pardon from Henry, waiting to be sent to the Nunnery of life or am I Anne, standing proud and tall, not letting the people know my true feeling knowing that my head will roll?

Do we know what Anne thought at the block, no. She was smart and I'm sure she knew her reality and I'm smarter then I allow myself to be and know my reality to but like so many other don't really want to face it.